This Sunday night the stars will once again come out for the 82nd annual Academy Awards show. But before we get to the 3 to 4 hours of boredom we get to see the women in their expensive designer gowns, shoes, jewelry and whatever else they’re promoting. Then we have to sit through all the seem like hundreds of categories only the people in the movie industry care about. Next comes the endless lengthy speeches, and before you know it it’s 11pm and way past bed time, which is around the time they finally get around to announcing the “Best Picture”. Most of us regular folks only care about the basic categories.

Anyway here’s a little Oscar humor for you.

Top Five Signs The Academy Awards Went Way Too Long

1. From the time they started to the time they finished, Jack Nicholson dated and dumped three women.

2. The price of the gold on the Oscar statues went up 20-percent.

3. Hal Holbrook forgot why he was there…twice!

4. The 30-second “cutoff music” once cut itself off.

5. Three of the people saluted as among those we lost this past year were in the audience.

Top Five Ways To Tell The Oscar Thank You Speech Is Going Too Long

1. During the speech, there’s an intermission.

2. Flashing red speech too long warning light has to be replaced….again.

3. Since speech started, three people were added to the memorial list.

4. If this goes on much longer, you’ll miss the Saints home opener.

5. That last speech seems even longer than “The Titantic”.